I think I’ve hit rock bottom. I’m so self aware at this point. I can see everything clear as day. I made so many mistakes because I hated myself, I felt like I needed the affection to come one way or the other. I let people hit for the littlest reasons, some of them I wasn’t Even attracted to… some of them I didn’t Even orgasm from.

I’ve done so much damage, so much damage. I honestly don’t know where to start. I don’t know how to fix this, I’m my heart I know I want to run away from everything, it’s what I’d usually Do. Sweep it under a rug and run away, but I also know I can’t do that anymore. I have to face my mistakes and grow from them now.

God please help me, give me the strength to face myself and my own mistakes, help me to heal and find my way back to you. Bless my words and the works of my hands. Help me to help people avoid this awful phase of my life that was so unnecessary. Help me to view myself as beautiful, help me to forgive myself and help others to forgive me. Amen.